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Good Lawyer Jokes - Very Funny

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?
A. A Lobotomy.

Q. How do you save five drowning lawyers?
A. Who cares?

Q. What do you call a block of cement containing ten lawyers?
A. A waste of cement.

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A1: Shoot him before he hits the water.
A2: Take your foot off his head.
A3: No? Good!

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: What do you do if you run over a Lawyer?
A1: Back over him to make sure.
A2: Make another notch on the steering wheel.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of s***?
A: The bucket.

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